Sick Insecure Liberal Weightlifters

As you should be able to tell from my picture, I'm really into weightlifting. Nothing gives a bigger high than being able to step on people.

But I've noticed a new breed of liberal weightlifters at the gym. They're a bunch of sissies that are insecure about their tiny little penis and testicles. So they get these homosexual ideas like tying a dumbbell to their balls and seeing how far they can stretch.

Read my lips(or my words): Get a job.

Conservative Women Hot, Liberals Not!

I thought I'd go and compare the hotness of Conservative women, and the ugliness of liberal women. I think it really has to do with God and the Bible. It's obvious that God is going to give better looking children if they pray to him. Filthy hippies breed ugly nasties.

Conservative Women

Elizabeth Hasselbeck Elizabeth is the conservative voice on The View. She is the one that single handedly destroyed Rosie o'Donnell's liberal logic and that made her quit the show. Elizabeth is a beacon of conservative womanhood and needs to be acknowledged for her greatness.

The Bush Twins These two are our Savor's George W. Bush's twin daughters. These two girls give the White House another great beacon of Conservative womanhood. These two will make great wives of future Presidents.

Mary Carey Mary is a very nice Conservative lady. She works hard with the Republican party with Fund-raisers and plans to run for President when she turns 35.

Michelle Malkin Michelle is an outspoken conservative writer that works very hard for the Republican Party. Even though Asians can't get into heaven, they still can work very hard for conservative based parties and organizations.

Liberal Women

Kristen Gore Kristen is Al Gore's daughter. She has a face like a horse and a personality to match. She is a "comedian" writer. With all the altruistic crap that came out of Al Gore's family, to produce a writer that contributes absolutely nothing to society is the icing on the cake. Blame business, they just happen to do everything, but writers really do "care" and do nothing.

Rosie O'Donnell Rosie is the big fat disgusting liberal lesbian that will never keep her mouth shut. She got her ass handed to her twice on television feuds, many times from Elizabeth Hasselbeck and another few times from Donald Trump. Rosie is a moron, self righteous and an altruistic narcissist.

Madeline Albright Barf!!!

Barbra Steisand Just look at that big devilish Jew hawk nose on her. She's just the big nasty of nastyville. She represents so many liberal women.

Celine Dion Celine Dion is the ugliest Canuckistanie ever born. She looks like she had 3 sex changes. Man to woman, woman to man, and back from man to women. Her music is horrible and she votes liberal.

Tickle Me Elmo: The Molestee

I was at my local church today, doing some work for some under privileged children. One of these children was playing with his Tickle Me Elmo doll. I've heard about these, but never had a chance to see what they are. I forbid my children from playing with dolls. Elmo looked pretty neat and I could see why children liked them.

I'm always testing products to see if there is any subliminal or hidden gay agenda stuff in it. I decided to tickle Elmo's balls, and guess what he said, "HA HA HA That tickles." Is this what Elmo is teaching children? When they get child molested, it "tickles"? Elmo is a sinful product and is definitely part of the gay agenda to turn all our children gay and molest them.

Do not buy Elmo for your children. In fact, don't even let your children watch Sesame Street. It's on that filthy pinko PBS station and Elmo teaches children that child molestation "tickles". Homosexuals fucking make me sick!!

Bam Chicka Wah Wah To HELL!!

Axe Body Spray has the most evil and sinful commercials on television. They advertise these body sprays that grab hold of women and turn them into whores and sluts. I can't believe the government actually lets a sinful business sell products that do this. Isn't this mind control?

Business works on the idea of free exchange with consenting adults, but this spray obviously takes over the minds of people and forces them to be slutty. This is spray is destroying America and our girls. It's next to impossible for a nice young man these days to marry a virgin.

Sick sick sick!!! Axe executives are going to Hell!!! And they're going to BURN FOREVER!!!

Bill Murray is a Great American Actor

Bill Murray is the best actor that has ever lived. He promotes good American Christian values in his films and he's a very funny guy. Did I mention he's the best celebrity golfer I have ever seen? Everyone needs to watch all his movies. He's the best. No one can touch this guy.

Watch the following movies...

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
Lost in Translation
Rushmore
Kingpin
Groundhog Day
What About Bob?
Caddyshack

Watch all these movies. He is the best American actor ever to live after Ronald Reagan.

Obesity is a Priviledge, Not an Epidemic

I'm sick of all this crap on the news about the "Obesity Epidemic". There is no epidemic. This is a good thing. We have the greatest system in the world(capitalism) and we are able to produce and consume more. Obesity is a sign of success, it's not a problem. Why does the liberal media try to put a negative spin on everything? Because they hate America and they hate the fruits of Capitalism. They'd rather see each American live off the state and have the "healthy diet" of a starving Ethiopian.

Fact: McDonalds produces a great tasty meal and cheap prices. Can you find any other place that will produce a delicious Junior Chicken sandwich for 99cents? NO! Thank Jesus for his creation of Capitalism. The greatest thing the world has seen.

Here's the deal people. Nearly 50% of Americans are skinny. This is the real epidemic. It's full of filthy atheists, hippies, and pinko bastards that hate America. They refuse to consume our delicious abundance of food and grow. They'd rather remain skinny and "fight the system".

People that are skinny are 10 times more likely to eat a vegan restaurant, sushi restaurant and vote Democrat. If that isn't an epidemic, I don't know what is.

To clarify. Abundance is a good thing. Obesity is the badge of being the best in the world. We as citizens should be hoping to see the starving voodoo people of Africa embrace capitalism and grow obese. Obesity is progress. Obesity is anti-poverty and Obesity makes America great.

Madonna is a Filthy Whore!

I don't think I can say anything good about this no good filthy whore! Look at her in that picture. Trying to push her breasts together like the huge whore she is, all while promoting the atheist dream symbol, a burning cross.

Well, FUCK YOU, Madonna. You're going to die bitch. You're going to die a horrible, horrible HPV death. Along with a severe case of rectum cancer, you filthy stinking whore!!

Sorry, I'll keep this short. I just get upset when it comes to the queen of filthy whores. Your children should still read this though.

Conservatipedia Reaches Over 30,000 People!!

I think that's a great success. We have reached so many people and I feel so thankful for all the positive email responses I get. I will continue on fighting for the real Christian values that have made America the greatest.

I would like to share with you, some of our most popular search engine keywords.

• turn children gay
• godless dirty whores!
• filthy atheists
• obama koran
• does prayer cure aids
• butt plug bowel movement
• atheism should be illegal

I want to thank all the readers out there once again. You are the people that make this site great. Take my information and help spread it around your community. Soon we'll be living in an America with God, not against him.

Ice Cream Cones Breed Homos

Take a look at that nice big ice cream cone. Now close your eyes. Imagine you're eating it. You stick your tongue out and tease the ice cream. You start wrapping your tongue around it, smoothing it out. Oh don't worry about getting it on your chin, this is your time. Enjoy that cone.

Open your eyes. Look at the picture again. Think about this... that sort of looks like a big cock. I guess that makes you a fag. Go clean that load of cream off your chin. Come back and read the rest.

Ice cream cones have been the biggest part of the gay agenda since the night light. That's what gays want. They want everyone sucking dick and what better way than to hide it in a simple dessert. To eat an ice cream cone, you have to perfect the art of a "blow job". As you're slopping down that ice cream cone, you're getting a first class education in sucking dick.

The next time you have an ice cream, have it in a dish. Any children that have cones, take it away from them and throw it in the garbage. We can't let the homos win this war.

Slavery is a Moral Act

It is black history month or it was, I don't really follow it. All I hear though is the shame of slavery. I guess these people never read the Bible, which makes it very clear that slavery is a completely moral and accepted act. God expects us to do it.

Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. - Leviticus 25:44-45

It seems like an opened and closed case, but the filthy atheists of society think it's "wrong". What do atheists know about right and wrong? They don't believe in God, so they don't believe in morality. It's spelled out in the Bible that it is a perfectly acceptable thing to do. They curse us for believing in slavery, all the while they protect homosexuals who sin against our nation.

I think we needed a good President to get elected to solve this problem. It's ashame that Mike Huckabee is out of the race because he's the only man for the job. He would of passed a law stating it was moral to have slaves. We could of rounded up all those illegal immigrants and made them slaves. Our country got rich off of slaves hundreds of years ago, we might as well get rich of these beaners.

Should Gays Be In The Army?

Well, I guess this is the other side of the debate. We know the filthy atheists shouldn't be in the army, but should the filthy gays be in the army? Yes sir! I know a lot of my conservative buddies must be foaming at the mouth. "What do you mean gays in the army?" Look, we all hate gays and we all understand that gays are pissing God off. Why not let them in the army, put them on the front lines, so they die?

That's right. Gays should be put in their own separate divisions and be put at the front lines. They don't need body armor and they can use old weapons. The majority of soldiers that will die now will be fags. No one cares about them. When the reports on the news talk about us reaching close to 4000 dead in Iraq, it would read, "3900 fags killed in Iraq, 2 American heroes killed. Recent polls show a 90% approval rate for the war and our President."

It's like a win win situation. We get to spread democracy all over the world and we get rid of our gay problems back at home. Simple!

Should Atheists Be In The Army?

I often hear the debate about whether fags should be in the military. There's only one thing that scares me more than fags and terrorists, and that's those filthy atheists. Why doesn't anyone want to talk about the atheist problem we have in the army? Because the liberal media has a atheist bias, along with our atheist government.

The first problem with atheists in the army comes back to the main philosophy, putting your life in the hands of others and having others do the same. Can a person really put their life in the hands of a filthy atheist? I know I couldn't. These Godless creatures don't care. They're all hippie pot smoking "crazies" that are mainly looking for a government handout when they join the army. I don't need someone watching my back while stoned talking to puff the magic dragon.

The second problem can be clearly illustrated with the marines. The ideals of marines are God, Country and the Core. How the Hell are filthy atheists supposed to follow that? They don't even live by the laws that God have set down in the Bible, so how are they going to follow the laws of this country and of the core? They can't. Every time the Americans have lost a battle, there has always been a filthy atheist at the core of it. Just look at the battle of Mogadishu.

Finally, atheists just have other agendas. They're not out to protect our country, OUR FREEDOM!! They're out pushing their own sick atheist agenda. I've illustrated much of the atheist agenda. Atheists are out to get your Children has been a stellar internet phenomenon that has helped reshape how the world sees atheists. You can also check out my other posts on should atheists be parents and should atheism be illegal.

All Women Are Whores

Well, if your in denial, a liberal, or been stuck in the African Jungle for most of your life, you probably wouldn't have realized that all women are whores. It's sad, but true. It is more important than ever to get the bible into schools NOW, so we don't end up with a female whore epidemic.

I was looking at an article and behold my glory, 1 in 4 Teen Girls has STDs!!!! Told ya so!

About half of the girls acknowledged ever having sex; among them, the rate was 40 percent. While some teens define sex as only intercourse, other types of intimate behavior including oral sex can spread some infections.

Filthy Filthy Whores! And look at the lies. They whore and can't even tell the truth.

"High STD rates among young women, particularly African-American young women, are clear signs that we must continue developing ways to reach those most at risk,"

That's right! It's time to get the Bible back into schools. With the Power of Christ we can save our daughters from turning into dirty whores that are destroying America. We need to step up and demand that the atheists be removed from government and push our great Christian values into government.

I've stated my problems about women and this is only leading to more problems when they get married. I wrote a guide on the role of the wife, so make sure you keep your wife in order with this.

America is being destroyed by the Atheists that want people to live without any moral compass. They want people to be whores, get aids and die. That's how these sick atheists think. We need to reach our children and most importantly, protect them from atheists. Stand by me and demand government institute the Christian ideals that our founding fathers envisioned when they created this country.

Rename the Earth to America

Well, I think it's probably for the best. Let's face it, the Earth is America. That's all we talk about. It's all that's on the news. Every country dreams to become us. We are the best. If aliens ever came to this planet, they'd come to us, not anyone else.

Have you actually watched foreign news? All it has is American news. Nothing happens in foreign countries. Everyone talks about us, because we're the best. Watch the news in Laos or Cambodia and they're talking about the elections. Watch the news in South Korea or Latvia, nothing but America America America. Watch the news in Canada or Ethiopia more talk about the American election.

We just are the best and everyone loves us. We do the best work. We make the most money. We live the highest standards of living. We are the Earth. We are the heroes of humanity. We are the nation to follow. We are the Earth.

I think as human beings we have progressed to the point that the Earth just needs to be renamed to America. Simple to highlight the fact that we're the best. We own the world. We run it with the correct Christian values and all people are better off because of it. The people of this Earth need a constant reminder that the sun rises and falls on Americas watch and they need to be forever grateful of America. America is the best. America is everything. America is the Earth.

Celine Dion is a Bitch!

Who would of guessed I have a big problem with that filthy Canuckistanie whore, Celine Dion? She is destroying America. Living in Las Vegas become almost unbearable knowing she was working here, probably as an illegal immigrant.

I call on all my faith loving readers. Get some rotten tomatoes and goto a Celine Dion show and throw them at her. It'll be the best thing that ever happens. It'll be on the news over and over and over again. Her getting pelted with tomatoes. Americans will start laughing at her, instead of "enjoying" her music. She'll flee back to Canada or French Canada. America will be a better Christian nation.

Attack Funny-Jesus.com

I thought it was time to declare social change on the internet. I seen in my stats, a new site called Funny Jesus linking to us. It's extremely new, so I thought it would be the perfect for a first site to goto war with and show people the lies of this website.

What I find greatly offensive is the slogan of this site. Dropping baby Jesus on his head. That pisses me right off. Than they make a post on how I'm wrong about creationism. My facts stand, they're just filthy sinners. Lastly, the posting name is under Lucifer. Obvious these fags are Satanic and need to be cleansed from this Earth.

I encourage everyone to go over to this site and leave comments. Just flood them with the truth about God and creationism. Let them know who's boss.

I'm Chris Francis, BITCH!!

Yeah, that was my own little satire of that filthy loser Dave Chappelle. A lot of people think he's funny, but he's not. He's sinful and hates America. Guess what else! He's a muslim. A sick perverted suicide bombing terrorist.

Also Chappelle is a nut job. He ended up disappearing to Africa and ended up in a mental institution. Very screwed up, probably because he believes in the Koran.

DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN WATCH HIS SHOW. Let me repeat that, do not let your children watch his show. It's sick, perverted and full of sicko bad language jokes. What did the five fingers say to the face? Not Slap, you're going to Hell!

I've enclosed this sick pricks idea of a joke video, making fun of our great president.

Interview With A Whore

I wanted to help people understand the sinful mind of a filthy whore, so I thought I'd find one and do an interview.

Chris: Hi Sherry, what made you a whore?

Sherry: Well, I guess it started when I was in Grade 2. Another kid in my class asked me if I ever went to church. I told him, no. He than replied, 'you're going to Hell'. I ran all the way home from school crying. I didn't want to be damned to Hell. I asked my father about this and he told me, there is no God, there is no heaven or hell. Live for now. I guess that's what led to my whoring ways.

Chris: Have you ever had anal sex?

Sherry: Yes.

Chris: You're going to Hell then. There's no escaping that.

Sherry: I know. I realize that now. That my father fed me lies. But if I can't be saved, I don't see the point in changing.

Chris: Don't be so selfish. Think of all the little girls that are emulating your horrible behavior. Don't you care what you're doing to them?

Sherry: I care for them. I just don't know what I can do.

Chris: I think you need to contract aids and die. Death is probably the only act you can do to save these children. Show them how painful aids is and tell them that this is what happens when you don't follow the Bible.

** Sherry walked out at this point. Whores just can't handle the truth.**

Things That Turn You Gay

I wanted to compose a 100% accurate list of things that will turn you gay. This is another essential post that you should definitely print off and give to your children. The atheist school system is desperately looking to turn your children gay and they need to know what to avoid.

• Lisps
• Desire to eat hotdogs
• Interest in science over sports
• Desire to cook supper
• Cross dressing
• Voting Democratic
• Night Lights
• Cardio Workouts instead of weights
• Using fabulous and mangina in diction
• Listen to Madonna
• Playing with penis
• Watching Dr. Phil
• Salon for a haircut
• Face Moisturizer
• Class on home economics
• Raising the children instead of getting a job
• Hemroids
  
• Jeans that cost over $100
• Traveling to France
• Watching The View
• Never reading the Bible
• Supporting Gay Marriage
• Drug use

This is more than enough in the list on the things that turn you gay. Give a copy to your children, so they won't come home one day in "fabulous" designer jeans demanding to watch a rerun of The View and asking if they can goto France for summer vacation.

Jesus Christ Lizard Tamer!

Atheist scientists don't want you to know the truth, that Jesus Christ Lizard Tamer existed. Atheists are infesting children's minds with ideas like the Earth is billions of years old. That the dinosaurs roamed the Earth before man existed. This is false and a lie!

Today you can see real live dinosaurs. We call them lizards though. They've been around for the entire existence of this Earth, 6000 years. Jesus Christ used dinosaurs to ride from community to community spreading his great Christian message.

Those dinosaur bones we seen in museums are a hoax. They're made in Chinese atheist sweat shops and brought here. It's all a conspiracy by the atheist to destroy the greatness of God and try to get as many people to burn in Hell.

Write all your public representatives in government and tell them that you're sick off atheists taking over our Christian Nation. Tell them that we need to remove all this atheist hearsay that is completely false, never proven and definitely fabricated. This is all part of the big evolution hoax to turn everyone into an atheist and get people to burn in Hell.

Conservatipedia Podcast 3

This is the third conservatipedia podcast. Chris discusses the narcissistic trends infesting America from Macs to the environmentalists. Chris also goes into a detailed talk about Global Warming.

Challenge: Prove Global Warming To Me! More information in the podcast.

Duration: 34 minutes

Download Now

Liberal Colleges Give Degrees in Narcissism

Now, I'm not attacking everyone that goes to college. I'm talking about the people that take courses that yield a high ratio of liberal hippies. Of course this doesn't apply to people that take something useful like theology or civil engineering.

I've never seen such narcissistic pricks than the morons that come out of college or university with a degree in uselessness. If you're unfamiliar which degrees are useless, here's a list...

• Arts
• Philosophy
• Multimedia
• Politics

I really honestly don't get why. These people come out and try to force their ideals on everyone, through government, and think they're saving everyone. From who? Themselves.

You talk to them and they give you all the reasons they're right. Oh wow, you got an "A" on your Shakespeare paper. I guess that makes you king shit. You must be God among men. Shakespeare is such a vital part of life, existence and great good old fashion English humor that makes absolutely no sense. You're right though, the civil engineer that builds bridges, he's just a douchebag. Your Shakespeare paper beats him 10 times over.

Oh you took more courses. Let's hear. Oh you took a philosophy course on critical thinking. Wow, you're obviously better than everyone else. Just think that civil engineer could only build a bridge with his limited intellectual capacity. I guess you must be able to move cars across the bridge with your telepathic critical thinking powers. No? What the Hell man? What have you created for this world that makes it a better place? Wait! Those are all government laws. Are you telling me your only gift to the world is lobbying the government to create laws? You're not an engineer that built a bridge, you're not the doctor that saves lives, you're not the priest that gives people faith, you're not inventor that gives us luxury.

You're just some dried up stinky dick licker that thinks they're the best thing since sliced bread because when it comes to Shakespeare you can write an essay that would marvel a world of people that don't give a flying fuck.

If you're going to college, take something useful. Don't take crap. Complete and utter crap. I swear these people spend $100,000 just to have a professor help them think they're super duper when they're really just another useless human being.

If you're one of these morons. Just realize a few things. You're useless. You contribute nothing to this world. Realize that you're a loser and a drain on society. Contemplate suicide. Get a real job. Grow up. And throw out your capitalist bought Che Guevara shirts. Take a bath too.

Fox News is Fair & Balanced

I'm sick of all the filthy liberals saying that Fox News isn't fair and balanced. Well, there idea of fair and balanced is undedicated love for the democrats. What an amazing view point!

Liberals view the idea of "criticizing" a person as an endorsement of the complete opposite. Seems to be a total retarded ideal. Criticizing politicians is an essential part of the media. Especially criticizing the filthy politicians that want to limit market freedom to start yet another government program that only 1% of the population actually need.

So what do liberals think today? Of course it's still biased for conservatives. Just look at Ann Coulter saying she'd vote for Hillary Clinton over Republican John McCain. Don't hear about Fox News having a liberal bias by liberals. Seems odd, don't you think?

Fox News is completely fair and balanced. 100% unbiased. The liberals hate it because all the other media out there has a liberal bias, and they somehow think that this liberal bias is just the norm and unbiased. Watch Fox News everyday, and turn off the Communist News Network(CNN) and all the other pinko leftist stations.