Age: 42
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
Occupation: Bouncer for God
Hello everyone,
I'm Christopher and I want to welcome you to my site. I've been working very hard at this site trying to educate you, rather than preach. I spend most of my day working for my local church with an education program to help turn homosexuals straight. It can really wear me out, but I'm dedicated with a 100% success rate.
I thought I'd share that little bit with you, so we would have a more personal connection.
Feel free to email me at christopher@conservatipedia.com.
33 comments:
Yeah, Shoutwire kicks major ass!!!
Well done man I haven't laughed this hard in ages, Cheers a bunch!
Get AIDS and die in a fire.
you sir, are a faggot
Wow. I never thought someone could be this screwed up and think that being gay is this terrible sin. This is the exact reason I had a complete wave of anger when I saw your "theory" about night-lights turning people gay.
You sir, are as ignorant as they can get.
God is shamed you use his name in this manner.
Inquisition
Killing of Native Americans
The Witch hunt
Nazis
and now, people like you.
you are the new age version of the Inquisition.
God is in shame
You are awesome. Your satire of American culture is... as informed as it could possibly get. I'm a "filthy Canadian" and your views portray exactly what I think of American opinions and modern Christian interpretations! Kudos to you for capturing them! :D
i just finished reading your article on Shoutwire "Egyptian Gods and Goddesses" and just had to follow your link to here. your article is well written....for a ignorant child! it really does seem to be written by a poor sheltered brainwashed child. and then i came here and see your "bouncer for god" picture and it really explained everything.
for eighteen years, i was forced to look at the world through the same blind eyes that you see though. and i really feel sorry for you.
"the only thing sacred about cats is that they are lucifer's tool"? dude you are a TOOL!!!! i'm not to fond of cats, but "lucifer's tool" is a bit too much. it just shows dark age thinking alive and well today.
"glorifying a god of pregnancy is a one way ticket to hell"? what in the world are you talking about. according to your book, all sins are forgivable but one, and it's not "glorifying preggo god". with you "living the life" and "spreading the good word" i would expect you to know that, but i guess not.
i've got a new theory for you. the big "end of the world" that you people are so eagerly waiting for might not be your "new heaven and earth" i'm thinking that when all of you blind, silly people realize that you have been tricked and lied to for ages, it IS going to be the end of the world. YOUR world. the day that common sense kicks your beliefs into the pits of your fictional hell will really be a beautiful day for this planet.
my advice to you is to read some books. educate yourself. believe in yourself instead of something that someone else is telling you to believe. we don't need some imaginary god to save the world. we need good people. your beliefs and statement don't sound like good people to me.
Be nice to Christopher, doing ad hominem attacks serves no purpose and just brings about more hate in this world. Republicans and Democrats may have different ideas but they are human also. Criticize his ideas, not him. This society was build on compromise and if there were no compromise, nothing will get done.
Which brings up one issue I have; stating one's opinion as absolute fact is ignorant. Rosie O'Donald states lots of her opinion as facts, and does not recant when the evidence surmounts against her. She is ignorant, and you sir are no different.
Truthfully everyone should know that the -pedia titling the blog is a front to the educational system, and a humiliation to the Nevada school system, assuming Christopher went to school there. Using -pedia is essentially crediting this blog, a site for one's opinion as a site for fact. In reality this is no tome.
My guess is that you have a bisexual orientation, and are very angry at the homosexual side of yourself. You have to realize that it is OK to have a healthy heterosexual relationship, without dwelling on the homosexual attractions you may feel from time to time. It is OK for people with a principal homosexual orientation to embrace their sexuality ("be gay") and have healthy relationships, which many do. I feel sorry for you, and I don't mean that in a mean-spirited way. I think you can heal from externalizing your problems through individual psychotherapy.
I wonder when the commenters will learn that this is satire.
And even if it wasn't, someone stupid enough to post this much garbage is going to be quite immune to your insults.
During one of my regular emergency pray stops today (I was passing a theatre showing the new devil's musical "G.A.Y" at the time), I got on my knees and God told me that he was very proud of your real life work and the education this blog is bringing to America.
God bless you Christopher!!
Your website is wonderful! The only improvement that I can think of would be to offer prayers for donations. You really need to monetarize this or we may start to think that you are following that gay "craigslist" business model. I can put you in touch with some investment bankers when You are ready for an IPO.
This site is monetized. Please see the "Store" link on the right side menu.
this is all a joke right? cause if it is, it rocks! if it isn't..the world is a horrid place..
I'm not sure if this site is serious or just a joke because some of the stuff said is just crazy enough to be a joke or not.
I have to laugh at all the people getting offended about homosexuality being a sin though. If you are religious it's a sin if your gay you probably arn't religious therefore don't belive in god so shouldn't be offended.
bouncer for God. holy shit lol. that was SO cash. good job on this site. it captures retarded Amerifags perfectly.
This is the best parody sites I've ever seen, right up there with godhatesshrimp.com and the Flying Spaghetti Monster :D
I'm ashamed we share a name.
Well done on a site of great satire. I live in England, Americas 'Mini-Me', and I totally get where you're coming from.
Since I can't believe that such a person as yourself can exist, I will consider this blog as a great satyre from some comic genius. Congratulatios.
PS: I'm from Mexico, can you say something fun about it?
Sir, you are, frankly, insane! and horribly misinformed on a plethora of subjects, I can only hope nobody takes any thing you say seriously!
Psalm 10:7 His mouth is full of cursing and deceit and fraud: under his tongue is mischief and vanity.
the site is hilarious and IMO clearly is satire of extreme conservatism. i think the writer is just looking to get a rise out of liberals who cant detect the sarcasm or have a sense a humor about things.
Hilarious website! I'm also in the satire blogging business....I made a blog dedicated to my high school....good to know you're kicking some gay ass...hahaha
Your misguided beliefs about what is wrong with the world and what you believe should be done about it, are why this world is so negative, mean-spirited and narrow minded. If Jesus Christ were alive today, I truly believe he would sue you for defamation of character. How dare you speak for God. You should truly be ashamed of yourself.
this site is hilarious.. good work fella.
greetz all the way from frankfurt.
regardless of if this is satire or not, it is straight up hilarious. Very creative and funny!
For someone who purportedly hates homosexuals, you spend an awful lot of time and energy talking about Sex and the City!
Chris-
I was wondering if you would do a movie review of RENT.
Thank You-
An Admirer
Just come out of the closet already you stupid jerk!!! The more jerks like yourself harp on this subject the more likely you are to be Gay. Next your going to tell me that the son of god has white skin,blue eyes and blonde hair and how he is out to save the white race. So tell me just who are you taking the country back from?
Your skank cum whore mother named you after Christopher Street ? Ahahahahahaha, that makes you the FAGGOT. Die of Aids bitch :)
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